Okay, so it’s not a tumor…

that’s a relief!

For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s the back story….

A few weeks ago (maybe even a couple of months if I’m honest….I’ve been in denial for a while and no, I’m not really a poet!) I was taking a shower, as you do and I noticed that one side of my stomach was bigger and harder than the other side. I didn’t think much of it, preferring to forget all about it and hoping that it would go away.

A few weeks later and it hadn’t gone away. I had a prod and a poke every time I had a shower and every time I thought to myself, I should just mention this to Ant and see what he reckons but by the time I’d finished my shower, I’d put it to the back of my mind again.
However, the back of the mind can be a bit annoying. it doesn’t always keep things locked away there and I started to think that maybe it could be a tumor of some sort and the longer I deny it’s existence, the worse it could be getting so I finally decided to mention it to Ant last week.

He was sensible and told me to make a doctors appointment, so I did.

My doctor diagnosed a hernia and immediately I thought, ‘phew, it’s not a tumor; hernia’s aren’t so bad are they?’ he quickly changed my mind on that when he said “your weight and the fact that you’ve had blood clots on your lungs in the past means you’re too high risk for surgery. This means that you have to live with the hernia until you lose enough weight to be considered safe enough to operate on. Now, losing the weight might mean that it repairs itself and you won’t need surgery, which is what we’ll hope for. However, the hernia can get trapped at any time and if this happens, it will start to get painful. This can kill you. If you get any pain, see a doctor straight away”.

He’s a really lovely doctor and I could see he felt awful telling me I had to lose weight. He said, “I know doctors blame weight on everything and you’re always being told to lose weight but this time, if we want to keep you alive, you have to lose the weight, there’s no other option because I know they’re not going to operate on you at this weight”.

So I’m now on a new diet and fitness regime.
I’ve been determined to lose the weight before but I’ve failed a lot of times. However, I’ve never felt like my life was in danger before, like I did when I got the blood clots on my lungs and was told I needed to stop smoking. I didn’t have another cig from that day and I’m now in the same frame of mind about my weight.

I’m usually too shy to post full length pictures of myself online and always choose ones that I feel hide how big I actually am (they probably don’t but you know….denial is my friend) but I’ve decided that I need to face up to how I really look and I got Aiden to take these photos of me today.

 

I weighed myself today. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and I’m ashamed I’ve let it get so bad. I’ve only ever been totally honest with Ant about how much I actually weigh but today I’m putting it out there because I’m determined to lose this weight and it will be really good for me to write about my journey and perhaps share it with others who are struggling with their weight.

So here it is….my weight, on day one of ‘Operation Hernia Be-Gone!’ is 29 stone and 7lb *going red faced with shame*. It’s very hard to hear it out loud but there we go, it’s done and next week, when I do my first update, it won’t be as high and I can start to feel better with each pound I lose 🙂
I’m going to post a new picture each week with my weight loss result. It will help me visualise the changes and hopefully keep me motivated.

I’m going to use Sparkpeople to help me keep track of the calories and fat I eat. I’ve used it in the past and there are some great tools on there to help you get fitter.

I really will appreciate any support I get so please feel free to leave a comment.
Thanks for reading and wish me luck! 🙂

13 Comments

  1. Ant

    13th October 2011 at 5:46 pm

    You do realise that black really isn't your colour, don't you, but Ilove you, even in black…

    xxx

  2. Shell Louise

    13th October 2011 at 6:03 pm

    Well when I've lost some weight, I'll buy some nice, brightly coloured, new clothes! hehe 🙂 xx

  3. Rachel

    13th October 2011 at 7:54 pm

    Sorry to hear about the hernia, but glad it's not a tumour! You sound really determined to lose weight & I'm sure you will! Ill be keeping up with your progress!! Xx

  4. Shell Louise

    13th October 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Thanks Rachel 🙂 I'll be posting my weigh ins every Friday.
    I've done well today although I know I'm struggle with evening snacking. Ant and I usually have ice cream or doritos and dip while we're watching tv in the evening and even though I'm not hungry, I'm missing my snacks!
    I'll get over it in time. Just got to be strong.
    I really appreciate your support 🙂 xx

  5. Rachel

    13th October 2011 at 10:24 pm

    Its a habit that is hard to break! I'm similar to you in the fact that I had the willpower to quit smoking….but for some reason I don't have the willpower to stop snacking. We snack a lot too in the evening. Could you not still have your dip, but instead of dorritos, dip sticks of veg like carrot, cucumber etc??

    Xx

  6. AJDA

    14th October 2011 at 5:51 am

    … by the way, I am so glad that it's not a tumor.
    xxx

  7. Shell Louise

    14th October 2011 at 9:21 pm

    @ Rachel, I didn't think of healthy snacks. I just thought, no more snacks!
    I love raw veg and I could change the creamy dips for a salsa based one so that's a great idea, thanks 🙂 xx

    @ Ant….me too! xx

  8. writingsramblingsandreviews

    16th October 2011 at 7:08 am

    Good on you for going to the doctors, and for blogging about it – you have shown bravery with both of them, so a massive Good Luck with Operation hernia be gone!!

  9. Shell Louise

    16th October 2011 at 7:55 am

    Thank you, writingsramblingsandreviews and thanks for stopping by 🙂 xx

  10. Anonymous

    28th October 2011 at 8:11 am

    Shell I am glad is not tumor too. You can do this your strong!!!. Don't forget to have a nice stroll each day, it will help to burn off some of those calories,it will also make you feel good. I know you love the outdoors and your kids enjoy it too. Take care and if your going to snack healthy in evening have a less at tea time. LOL this is not anonymous its sharon but didn't know which one to use or what they even meant. xxx

  11. Shell Louise

    29th October 2011 at 7:47 am

    Hi Sharon, thanks for stopping by 🙂
    I'm in the right frame of mind to do this and all the support from friends and family is helping keep me that way so thank you 🙂

    xx

  12. Construction jobs

    4th November 2011 at 12:02 pm

    I am really curious for the photos from later today, because my friends is being delivered and built in. Yeah – finally the first friends in my life!I'm in the right frame of mind to do this and all the support from friends and family is helping keep me that way so thank you 🙂

  13. kateonthinice

    25th November 2011 at 9:13 am

    Well done on facing up to what you need to do and on how far you have come already. I find soup helps loads and eggs and smoked salmon. There are bound to be some healthy foods that you really enjoy and I find putting loads of those into your week helps stop you feeling deprived. Hope that helps a bit.

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